Alll purpose comebacks

I've had many a wonderful evenings. But this wasn't it. (Thanks Groucho Marx)

I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.


We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

Well, you probably said it without thinking, the way you do most things.

I’m busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.

Save your breath, you're going to need it to blow up your date.

A little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but I don't suppose that's a problem for you.