Some Humour

· As a math atheist, I should be excused from this.

· As far as I'm concerned, if something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway.

· Childhood is short, maturity is forever.

· From now on, I'll connect the dots my own way.

· I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know.

· I have all theses great genes, but they're recessive. That's the problem here.

· I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification.

· I must obey the inscrutable exhortations of my soul.

· If you do the job badly enough, sometimes you don’t get asked to do it again.

· I'm learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life... Procrastinating and rationalizing.

· I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

· It’s no use! Everybody gets good enemies except me.

· It's hard to conceal a water balloon

· It's not denial. I'm just very selective about what I accept as reality.

· It's only work if somebody makes you do it.

· Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.

· May I be excused? My brain is full.

· My only regret is blowing the best day of my life while I'm so young.

· Nothing spoils fun like finding out it builds character...

· Reality continues to ruin my life.

· That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

· There’s an inverse relationship between how good something is for you, and how much fun it is.

· There’s no problem so awful that you can’t add some guilt to it and make it even worse!

· There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.

· This one's tricky. You have to use imaginary numbers, like eleventeen ...

· To make a bad day worse, spend it wishing for the impossible.

· True friends are hard to come by…I need more money.

· Why should I have to WORK for everything?! It’s like saying I don’t deserve it!

· Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?

· With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog!