Whats going on?

There are so many things about me which I don’t understand.. I am almost old enough to know better and I just don’t seem to get answers to the way I feel about things and the way I react.. Has this ever happened to you?

Of late I have been questioning myself a lot and haven’t got convincing answers.. Simple things like I cannot go to bed until 12 - 12.30 am every night.. Like yesterday, I was very tired due to lack of sleep the previous night, yet couldn’t get some peaceful sleep.. So I kept calling my friend who already was bushed thanks to his full working day and the late hrs back home . I dint let the poor guy go to bed until 1 am (his time, ofcourse)... I am sure he must have been thinking like what the *^&# is wrong with this girl!

I seem to get worked up on simple issues and then immediately feel stupid about getting worked up..

I have been too conscious not to let people get close to me.. I keep hurting a very precious friend .. hopefully he understands and does not get worked up like me ;)

So I started thinking of a work around for this idiosyncrasy phase of my life and came up with these options: kill myself working so I am so tired that I just drop off dead , stop thinking et all e or just shut up!! None of them make sense except for the last one..

After reading all this, don’t you feel like I am loosing it? I was flabbergasted by my post that I almost deleted it.. But hey, may be 6 months from now I will have a hearty laugh reading it!